Saturday, March 26, 2016

How I Woke Up Tonight

It is about two in the morning here on Sunday. I had crashed out around seven or so last night and just woke up an hour ago.
I was awakened by the man and woman who inhabited the bunks around the corner from mine, having sex. My bunk is in a little cubby at the back of the room, with the other bunks around the corner. They had stumbled, likely drunkenly, into the room about an hour ago, right about the time I woke up. The front light by the entry door was on, and I heard, um, noises, and soft occasional chatter in German. I opened my eyes to see their shadow silhouettes perfectly projected onto the wall as both of them were standing, and he worked his way down her body, stopping at her breasts for a while, until he was working her midsection with his face. She was whisper-moaning and making approval sounds, and after a short time she went down on him, with him still standing and both of them gyrating in shadow form on the wall, punctuated by the occasional deep slurp.
Well. This isn't awkward at all for me. But probably a typical Saturday night at the hostel. And I'm definitely not sleepy now.
Anyway, they turned off the front light and crawled into a bunk together (I assume the bottom bunk, since it's the easiest to fall into), which ended the wall projection, but then the noises really picked up. There was more whisper-moaning, some gasping, a smattering of involuntary cries, occasional giggling, much slow rhythmic soft squeaking of bedsprings (though I have to hand it to them, they were amazingly stealthy considering). Of course, sex being sex, things end up speeding up and getting more uncontrolled despite (or maybe due to) best intentions.
Then, at what seemed like the feverish height of it, my Belgian bunk mate stumbled in, turned the front light on, and plodded back to the top bunk above me. He seemed unfazed or unaware of the activities, just crawled up to get something, and left again.
More giggling, and then more understated but unavoidable sex noises, and being your typical twentysomethings, the whole thing was brought to a muted yet clear frenzy in about twenty minutes (dang, dude...lasting power, hello?).
So. I really want to get up and leave. But I wait, because somehow it seems like the polite thing to do. Can't really start up my phone. I sit there in the dark for about twenty minutes, listening to post-coital cuddling chatter for a bit. It sounds like one of them climbs up to the top bunk. Then, I think, I just have to go for my exit. It's gonna be indelicate no matter how I do it.
I turn on my little flashlight, get some stuff out of my locker (which is RIGHT in front of their bunks), and hightail it outta there.
I'm kinda hungry, so I head for the communal kitchen, where I have stashed some food. But I have to walk through the bar to get there, and get stopped by the bouncers, who inform me that late at night it is an exclusive nightclub, and I don't meet the dress code. I tell them I just am hungry and want to go through to the kitchen, so after some whispering between the bouncers, they let me go through, keeping an eye on me to make sure I'm not inadvertently having any fun. Trust me. I'm not.
So I eat a little snack, and make my way back to the reception lobby, where here I sit, typing this, and trying to rid myself of the after-effects of the spectacle.

1 comment:

  1. Been there. It's a common annoyance of hostel travel. (Also the nightclub thing.) I do sometimes feel like an old fart in hostels, but considering I'm an old fart, I guess that's to be expected. I like that you were concerned about being polite to THEM, ha ha.